Generosity

On my field visits and meetings with the people CPAR works with, I have experienced a great deal of kindness and generosity. In Jarso Ethiopia, a group of farmers working in a beekeeping collective gave me not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4 jars of their honey. This, you understand, is their livelihood. The group sells honey to residents of their village (if they can afford it), in town or to a cooperative who can access more customers. They gave me 4 jars. Since the group can’t yet produce enough honey to meet local demand, they were definitely giving away money in the bank so to speak. I tried to offer to pay but I’m pretty sure you all know, you can’t pay for a gift. I was touched, moved and felt very unworthy.

In Guba, (electricity-free rural Ethiopia) we were checking out a bamboo tree nursery sight run by the church. It was a holy day (every day is a holy day in Ethiopia), in this case, the Trinity if I recall correctly, so there was a group of parishioners gathered sharing a meal. They called over to us to join…not wanting to but knowing I had no choice, we accepted. They served my colleagues and I (there were only 3 of us) a full plate of injera and cooked goat…or sheep. As well we were offered cups full of local home brew made from sorghum and also a shot of homemade vodka. (I declined both beverages knowing full well 1 would have made me sick because of the water used and the other would have knocked me over – I did have a nip of the vodka at my colleague’s insistence and it was surprisingly good). But I digress. The portion they gave us was what at least 10 men were sharing (the men and women were sitting separately so I couldn’t be sure what the women had). Aklilu, one of my colleagues said, ‘You have to eat, even if you don’t like it.’ Feeling overwhelmed be the gesture (and admittedly by the smell of the meat) I replied honestly, ‘It’s not about not liking, it’s about not needing.” We had just come from our breakfast where we were all satisfied. We had a few mouthfuls and insisted on sharing the rest.

Many of the women and children who we met with - the men were sitting off to the right

This past Friday, on our field visit in Lilongwe District, Malawi, I was completely overwhelmed. We were meeting with a group of farmers but many more people turned up. I’d say there were about 40 women and men and 30 or so small children looking on. At the end of our visit, during which farmers explained some of their challenges, we (me, my colleagues, the group village headmen, the government extension worker) were served cold fanta and coke, and packages of biscuits. The group had just explained that they could not afford certain small materials – plastic tube and small pieces of metal – to complete their improved storage facility. I took the package of biscuits and tried to open it but my hands were shaking uncontrollably and I was fighting back tears. I leaned to my colleague Steven and asked, ‘Can I share these? We don’t need them, I don’t want to offend but…” I was relieved when he said, “yes, you can share.” My hands were still shaking, there wasn’t enough for everyone – I broke the biscuits in half and handed them out to the kids. Others gave me their biscuits to share too when I ran out.

I don’t want to be one of those foreigners who goes around giving people stuff. In fact I’m not. I refuse cold heartedly to give to beggars, to give to children who ask for candy and so on but I could not sit there with 70+ people watching, and eat biscuits. I don’t know who purchased the gift but this time it was too much. I drank the Fanta and we went on our way. Joseph, the Program Manager told me, “You did a good thing.” But I honestly don’t think I could have done anything else.